The infinite monkey theorem suggests if you place a monkey at a typewriter for an infinite amount of time, eventually, by nothing other than pure chance, that monkey will randomly retype every piece of literature that ever existed; that boundless iterations of primate entered keystrokes will inevitably result in verbatim copies of Moby Dick, the Bible, the entirety of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, and even this insignificant fantasy football blog post.

It’s a fascinating concept but is basically just an amusing way to state that anything that can happen, will happen — that anything having a true non-zero probability of occurring, no matter how unlikely, will almost certainly eventually occur if time is not a constraint. The math behind this, albeit headache inducing, definitively supports this seemingly far-fetched theory.

But one needn’t dive deep into theoretics or probabilities to know that the outcome of this concept is unavoidable – no, in fact, one need go no further than simply looking at the scoreboard for the 11th YHWD Fantasy Football League Championship Game.

Streez Nuts – 112.5
The Blind Squirrels – 124.42

That’s right – The Blind Squirrels are officially League Champs.

Talk about direct proof.

Yet, still, despite it being right there before our eyes, it makes no sense — which in itself makes perfect sense. Afterall, if we’ve learned anything during the past two years, it’s that proof does not necessarily equate to clarity, and the practicality behind this Squirrel’s championship run has been murkier than the dream world in which they appeared to exist in.

Don’t agree? Just consider:

  • The team is co-managed by two grown adult men, one of whom is a father
  • This self-proclaimed “Super Team” splits the whopping $50 league entry fee
  • They made the playoffs by less than a point, with a record of 6-8, including a Pedey-worthy 7-game losing streak:
    • W, W, L, W, W, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, W, W
  • They were gifted Davante Adams in a mid-season trade from The Carpies that is now currently under investigation by the YHWD Competition Committee
  • After winning a playoff game with 73 points, they got to face Bino in the next round who conveniently had half of his team out due to a “virus” that was created in Ch.. **this post has been censored by the CDC**

Is that not evidence enough that this outcome was predestined by dumb luck? Regardless, I’m just glad Strat didn’t win again and therefore break the league.

Anyway… Here’s to parity. Here’s to probability. And here’s to the unknown, for the only known is this: A broken clock is still right twice a day; sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good; and hell, sometimes, even a goddamn blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

Until next year,
Paste